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Adult talking to a child while the child touches their throat. Adult talking to a child while the child touches their throat.

Supporting My Child Who Doesn’t Talk in Some Situations

For:

It can be worrying when your child talks comfortably at home but finds it hard to speak in certain places or with other people. You’re not alone in feeling unsure about why this happens, and many families experience this at some point. With the right understanding and gentle support, children can build confidence and feel more able to communicate in different situations.

More about supporting my child who doesn’t talk in some situations

Sometimes, a child can chat easily at home but find it very hard to speak in other places, like school or with people they don’t know well. This is often called selective mutism, which means the child is able to talk but feels unable to in certain situations. It is more than just shyness and can last longer or feel harder to overcome.

This can happen for different reasons. Many children who experience this feel anxious or worried about speaking, especially in new or busy environments. Changes, pressure to talk, or fear of getting things wrong can make it even harder for them to use their voice.

As a parent or carer, this can feel confusing and upsetting. You might wonder why your child is quiet in some places but talkative in others, or worry about how it affects their friendships and learning. It can also feel frustrating if others don’t understand what your child is going through.

It’s a good idea to seek help if your child regularly struggles to speak in certain situations and this is not improving over time. Getting advice early can help you understand what’s happening and find gentle ways to support your child, so they can feel more confident and comfortable communicating.

Questions and answers

Why does my child talk at home but not in other places?
Some children feel comfortable speaking with people they know well but find it much harder in places like school or around unfamiliar people. This is often linked to feeling anxious or overwhelmed, rather than a choice not to speak. Your child may want to talk but feel unable to in those moments.
Is this just shyness, or something more?
It’s common for children to be shy in new situations, especially when starting nursery or school. However, if your child regularly finds it hard to speak in certain places and this continues over time, it may need more support. It can be more than shyness if it is stopping them from joining in or communicating.
Can pressure make it worse?
Yes, feeling pressured to speak can make things harder for your child. Even gentle encouragement or repeated questions can increase their anxiety in that moment. Children often do better when they feel relaxed, understood, and not rushed to talk.
What can I do to help my child feel more comfortable?
You can help by staying calm, being patient, and showing that you understand how hard it feels for them. Let your child communicate in other ways, like pointing or nodding, and keep conversations low-pressure. Building confidence slowly through familiar routines and positive experiences can really help.
When should I seek help?
You should seek help if your child has been struggling to speak in certain situations for a while and it is not getting better. It’s also important to get advice if it is affecting their learning, friendships, or daily life. Early support can make a big difference and help your child grow in confidence.

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